Do You Decorate Fearlessly?

From the book by Susanna Salk (Rizzoli) Decorate Fearlessly, interior design by Valorie Hart, photo by Sara Essex Bradley

As you can see I am trying a new look for the blog. I hope you like it because I cannot figure out to go back to the old one. I thought I would try something new to refresh my spirits and get me blogging again.

Many nice things are happening for me. Alberto was so loved, and it turns out I am loved too, and so many of you have been helping me along. One of the many things I miss about Alberto is that he was my number one fan. He was so proud of my accomplishments.

From Decorate Fearlessly by Susanna Salk, interior design Valorie Hart, photo by Sara Essex Bradley

I have really been doing interior decoration/design for less than five years. Yes, I had a design business in New York for event design, and yes I am art school trained, but I started another chapter with interiors. I keep trying to convince Traditional Home Magazine that I am a young designer to be considered for their annual showcase, but so far they aren't buying it.

I have been blessed to have caught the imagination of authors, editors, and publishers in my budding career, and have been blessed to have gotten my work published. Alberto was so very proud that other people recognized my talent.

So now, the uber talented author and editor-at-large has included me in another one of her books:  Susanna Salk's Decorate Fearlessly (I was included in her Be Your Own Decorator a couple of years ago). It fits me to a T. And I am thrilled in the most geeky star struck way as possible. Alberto would have loved it.

Alberto Paz and Valorie Hart - This was my book launch party last September and someone said we never looked happier - Alberto was so proud of me and I love him so very much - photo by Jessica Hack

You will love Decorate Fearlessly by Susanna Salk

From Decorate Fearlessly - I am over the moon to be on the same page with so many talented people!

Susanna has the knack for gathering images of dozens of designers across the board, compiling a  delicious compendium of images that cannot help but inspire and make you think. Decorate Fearlessly has large scale photos (which I love), divided into to handy chapters organized by rooms (Living Rooms, Entryways, Dining Rooms, Kitchens, Bathrooms, Bedrooms). There is a short quote by each designer.

OMG on the same page as Nick Olsen!

Decorate Fearlessly interior design by Nick Olsen

Decorate Fearlessly interior design by Miles Redd

I am proud to say New Orleans was well represented. Besides myself, New Orleans designers Karina Gentinetta and Melissa Rufty are included, and New Orleans photographer Sara Essex Bradley has her images in the book as well.

Interior design by Karina Gentinneta, photo by Sara Essex Bradley

Decorate Fearlessly, interior design by Melissa Rufty, photo by Ron Royals

So what do you do that is fearless in decorating?

Pour Yourself A Drink

Ups and downs. Busy spinning my wheels. Lots of love and support coming my way. The hole in my heart is gaping. I just miss him. Simple as that. Hang in here with me.

Selfie with my tango daughter Eli

Pouring myself a Jameson and putting on some lipstick.

What's our favorite shade of lipstick? Your favorite cocktail?

BTW I see lots of ladies of my age with purple hair these days. I did mine last September. Alberto loved it. And I still love it. It's a new take on the blue hair-lavender hair grandmothers who used put a rinse on their gray hair in the 1960s. And younger women are rockin' it too.

Ten Hideous Things

Houzz had a funny and cute post, 10 Things People Really Don't Want in Their Homes.

Of course, I took I look around my home and found a few of the dreaded ten things. Sometimes these things cannot be avoided. You buy a house that has something you cannot afford to change. Or you rent a place where you are not allowed to make a change.

The dreaded recliner - photo from Houzz

I believe you can always work with what you have through the super powers of the decorator and the magical use of smoke and mirrors, the offensive can be made tolerable and sometimes even beautiful.

Guilty guilty guilty! Laminate floors came with the house - I actually don't hate them -They are the easiest thing to keep clean - Fabric on wall is meant to look like wallpaper - Fake flower cherry blossoms are mixed with real ones for the photo shoot  - photo by Sara Essex Bradley

I also believe that one woman's/man's ugly is another ones beauty. It's your home and it should be the way it makes you happy.

Now when it comes to clients, they may love fake plants or something that doesn't jibe with a designers vision or aesthetic. Our talent is to make it work, because we don't live there. Just stash the plant for the photo shoot.

Guilty, guilty, guilty! Fake flowers on nightstands, walls painted to look like wallpaper (by Mitchell Settoon), laminate floor, and does this rug qualify for carpet? What about the padded fabric covered wall behind the bed? Photo by Sara Essex Bradley which appears in Susana Salk's New book Decorate Fearlessly published by Rizzoli - Get that book!

Decorate Fearlessly by Susanna Salk - From Rizoli: "Featuring inspiring interiors from today’s top designers, Decorate Fearlessly shows us how to be bold and personal with our design choices, creating spaces that we love to live in. Decorate Fearlessly is both a photographic trove of fabulously designed homes—by such renowned designers as Mary McDonald, Ashley Hicks, Alex Papachristidis, and Jonathan Adler, among many others—and an inspirational how-to-decorate volume with spirit and verve."  I am one of the "many others" - There are two photos of my work in this book!

I went through some of my pictures to show you the offending things I have that Houzz says that people really don't want in their homes.

Guilty! My walls are not perfect enough to install wallpaper, and I can't afford the wallpaper I love, so I faked wallpaper in my office - photo by Sara Essex Bradley

Here's the real wallpaper done by designer Eric Cohler that appeared in House Beautiful

Guilty! My office, where I faked a Tricia Guild wallpaper - actually Mitchell Settoon painted the ombre wall for me - photo by Sara Essex Bradley

Tricia Guild wallpaper

Here's the list:
1. Carpet (I don't have it, I have area rugs on the dreaded laminate)
2. Laminate flooring (guilty!)
3. Taxidermy (don't have it now, but I have had it)
4. Vertical blinds (don't have them)
5. Fake flowers (guilty)
6. Wallpaper (guilty kind of) 
7. Too many knick-knacks (Duh. Define too many)
8. Fluorescent lighting (don't have it)
9. Recliners (don't have one but I have wrestled with having them in the past, trying to find a cute one)
10. Clowns (now that depends on whose coming over) 

Send in the clown - or is it an undercover decor police officer

Before the decor police come and fine me or take me off to rehab, fess up and tell us: Which of the 10 things people really don't want in their homes do you have?

Blush Crush

Runway to home. Blah blah blah. But let's face it fashion influences home decor and vice-versa.

Nicole Gibbons gets the trend right - photo from Focal Point

Blush, pale pink especially, is a huge fashion trend and yes it has trickled down to decorating, and not just bedrooms, tweens, and nurseries. Main living spaces are blushing too.

Nicole Gibbons

Nicole Gibbons

My recent post, From the Runway to Your Home: Spring Trends for 2014 at Houzz has a ton of affordable stuff you can get for your houzzzzz now. Go check it out.

From the Runway to Your Home: Spring Trends for 2014 at Houzz

Another huge fashion trend for Spring 2014 is head-to-toe denim.

This may be a little tricky to do in a room, but if you are not too literal you can do it in shades of blue, including denim. Go to From the Runway to Your Home: Spring Trends for 2014 at Houzz
to see some great denim stuff you can get for your house. 

Of course I love the denim texture wall, and probably would do a fabric covered wall because that's the way I roll

What about you guys - do fashion trends trickle down into your decorating?

New Orleans Newbies Emily and Andrew

I remember so very well when Alberto and I moved to New Orleans 14 years ago. We were so in love with each other and the city. It was quite a menage a trois, a glorious honeymoon that never ended until Alberto was taken from me and New Orleans. I am trying to find the joy and love again with my beloved New Orleans.

Alberto and I (June 2000)  in front of our first apartment in New Orleans in the French Quarter - This was taken on  the day we looked at the apartment

One thing that helps is deeply feeling the circle of life. One couple that are clients have newborn twin girls, and there is such a sweet renewal in holding them. I have a few younger couples as clients, setting up households or doing renovations, and their excitement and enthusiasm remind me of the good life I had with Alberto. We had the same love and enthusiasm they now have. Working with them gives me energy and hope that revives me.

One of the couples, Emily and Andrew have a house tour on Apartment Therapy. Go take a look. 

Emily and Andrew House Tour at Apartment Therapy - photo and story by Jacqueline Marque -

Jacqueline is an editorial and lifestyle photographer based in Newport, R.I.  - She loves all things related to her hometown of New Orleans - Interior design consultation by Valorie Hart

Emily and Andrew House Tour at Apartment Therapy - photo and story by Jacqueline Marque -

Jacqueline is an editorial and lifestyle photographer based in Newport, R.I.  - She loves all things related to her hometown of New Orleans - Interior design consultation by Valorie Hart

What helps you get through a hard time? 

Steps

What do you do to relieve stress? Often I clean the house, or putter around and do a project. I am sure many of you do the same thing.

Black stairs, white risers and balustrades

The house I live in is alive with Alberto. Every nook and cranny was touched by his handiwork. He always went along with my decorating schemes and ideas, wiring chandeliers, making cabinet doors, doing repairs, anything and everything I asked him to do. I run my hand along a piece of trim on a cabinet door he made, and know how he taught himself to do this. It is alive with memories that make me smile and cry.

All black stairs

Black has been accepted in decorating. It started with chalkboard paint and black kitchens, and segued into black bathrooms. Then black doors became hot. And media rooms and stairs painted black. I love it.

Black stairs by Kelly Wearstler

We have (notice I still say we) a stairway in our kitchen going up to the camel back second floor. It is very builder looking and not elegant, wood, with open treads. A carpet runner was not possible. The stairs have sandpaper like safety strips. I could never peel or scrape them off. The stairs also had ingrained dirt that never came out no matter how much I scrubbed them.

Carpet stair runner - charcoal with black edge

So I decided to paint the stairs black. At first I was going to do the whole thing, steps and hand rail, and balustrades. But I thought it would be too heavy. There are also some other wood elements in the kitchen, a tall cabinet with chicken wire doors that holds cookbooks and dishtowels, place mats and napkins; an armoire; there is an elaborate wood casing around an archway. The wood stairs always made sense with these other wood elements since they all had a similar mid tone stain.

Whimsical painted stair runner in black

So I just painted the steps. It was my therapy, another small step, on one of the countless nights I couldn't sleep. I painted right over the sandpaper strips. I like the two tones that occur since I only painted the steps. It's not fancy, but I like it, and I know Alberto would have liked it too.

I painted the stairs black and left the rest of the wood alone

I painted over the sand paper safety strips that I could not remove

What have you painted black lately?

Raise A Glass Today

Today is Alberto's birthday.

Alberto on his birthday in Buenos AIres

Part of me wants to sit and stare. I have been invited to drink champagne with dear friends who love us, and toast Alberto. I could ignore his birthday and just pretend it's another sad day without him. The son of Miss Anne, a dear friend to Alberto and me, invited me to a ballroom dance championship of elementary school kids, much in the vein of "Mad Hot Ballroom". 

I have been checking Alberto's email, unsubscribing form the dozens of political sites he followed, and letting friends know about Alberto. He had a circle of friends who mainly sent him jokes. One was a childhood friend from Buenos Aires. Another was Miss Anne's son. I hate to ruin a punch line, but I answered these emails recounting the sad state of affairs.

Alberto with his childhood friend Tavi and his wife Clara in the airport in Buneos Aires

So the invitation was offered a few weeks ago. Miss Anne's son told me he understood the depths of my pain, and how he appreciated Alberto and me loving his mother and being there for him when she passed away. It's been a few years, and I could still feel his sorrow, and I know he could feel mine. He is another kindred spirit, as I have found in so many of you telling me your experiences in your generous letters, cards, and comments.

When I first met Alberto 18 years ago

I remarked that the night of the event happened to be Alberto's birthday and perhaps this might be a good way for me to pass the time. I told him that we once taught a children's class to fifth and eight grade students, and how much we loved seeing the future realized in the formation of these children as dancers. Alberto and I always wanted to pass our knowledge onto the next generation, someone to keep the Argentine tango alive after we had left this earth.

Alberto Paz in Buenos Aires in front of Club Fulgor

As the birthday loomed, I had mixed feelings, as I do about everything now. I have been keeping busy. I am working. Being alone wears me out. Couples share chores, and now that Alberto is gone I find I my time is constantly filled with doing my job and his too. I am still not sleeping well, but I do exhaust myself so that the segments of sleep are deeper. So today I have a lot to do.

 I thought about begging off the invitation. But Alberto and I always wanted a friendship with Miss Anne's son. She had asked me to become his friend, to look out for him. We did reach out, and he did get together with us a few times, but a friendship was not fully realized. I understand now, that this is how grief works.

In the spirit of love, I decided to keep the date tonight. I got a tender email the other day, saying he would pick me up at 5:15 and that he would be wearing a suit, but no tie. I imagine he is coming from work. We haven't seen each other for a couple of years. I wanted to tell him I will be wearing radiant orchid hair and a face ravaged by grief, but with a smile for him.

Wherever you are today, tonight, raise a glass to my Alberto, and wish him a happy birthday.

I have been hosting our weekly tango dances again. They are called milongas. I myself have not danced yet. Of course the men in our community have asked me to dance, but I have not been ready. I have been going to another milonga hosted by someone else. Still just sitting with friends by my side. Last Friday the tango ("my" tango) "La Mariposa" was played, and I just broke down and cried. Not ladylike tears, but deep sobbing with a deep longing for the embrace of Alberto. Many arms embraced me. Many words of comfort soothed me. I was the life of the party. Life is the key word here.

So tomorrow night at our weekly milonga, I am having a birthday party for Alberto. We have birthday customs at our milongas. There is cake, sometimes champagne, and the custom of the birthday boy or girl taking to the dance floor. For the man, every women cuts in and dances with him, and vice-versa for the woman. When I announce the birthday dance at our milongas, I always say, "Ladies (or Gentlemen), wear him (her) out."

I will alter the custom a bit. I will take to the dance floor "sola," alone, even though it is not my birthday. I will invite the gentlemen to dance with me, to wear me out, for Alberto's birthday dance. Every week people at the milongas look to see if I am wearing my dance shoes. They (like me) are wondering who will be the first to break the ice. I am going to be the first. It's my birthday gift to Alberto.

Watch this little video clip of Alberto dancing his birthday dance last year. We had a "I Heart the 70s" party at our milonga, and dressed the part. Today he would have been 71.

Alberto's birthday last year

Another commemoration of Alberto's birthday is happening today in Buenos Aires. His beloved sister and his niece are doing something I asked them to do. We have not been to Buenos Aires since 2009.
Alberto's health curtailed our traveling by airplane. I can feel the sorrow his sister and his niece and nephew feel for not being able to see their beloved "Lito" again, to embrace him, to let him know how loved is was. Closure is even more cruel when a letter, or email, or phone call tells you a loved one is gone forever. The cost and distance was too great for family from Buenos Aires to come to New Orleans for the funeral. I would l love to be there with them, but again cost and distance makes it impossible.

The last time we saw family in Buenos Aires

Hermosa familia en Buenos Aires

I sent some of his ashes to his sister and her daughter, his niece. Today, on his birthday, they are going to Chacarita, a rather famous cemetery in Buenos Aires, to scatter his ashes in the section dedicated to the greats of tango. I wish I could be there with his children and our friends Jessica and Jon.

Valorie and Alberto visiting Chacarita cemetery in Buenos Aires

Alberto and I always visited Chacarita when we went to Buenos Aires. There is a custom of placing a lighted cigarette in the hand of the giant statue of Carols Gardel, who always held a lit cigarette when he performed. Alberto loved to do this. Then we would go over to the section with all the tango greats, and look at the monuments of the people we admire, whose music we listen and dance to. 

Here's a little video when we were there for Alberto's birthday in 2008: A Visit to La Chacarita Cemetery

Today my beloved is going home, again. Nos vemos mi amor.

And if you have time, please go to our blog The Tango Life, and read this remembranza by Jon Racherbaumer.

And one of our students Mario Girard wrote a beautiful poem that you can see on my Facebook Page.