How many of us have life long friendships? I lose touch over the years, but at any moment if I reconnect with someone, it's as if time vanishes, and we pick up where we left off.
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| Rachel Phoebe Monica |
A very interesting article in the Sunday New York Times HERE.
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| Laverne and Shirley |
What do you do when a friendship shifts? It could be one friend, or a group of friends, mommy group friends, couples friends, work friends, gym friends, drinking buddies, school friends, people you share a hobby with, cyber friends...So many friends, so little time!
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| From the movie Bob Carol Ted and Alice |
Ever dump anyone? Or get dumped? Not because of any major drama like boyfriend or husband stealing, but for other non drama reasons. How did you handle it? Any advice?
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| Thelma and Louise |
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| Friends on TV and in the movies are friends forever |
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Sometimes I think we can grow at a different rate and in a different direction than our friend(s). Our interests change or our employment changes or other life occurrences unexpectedly alter the way we thought our lives would play out. Sometimes, as in my case, a situation arises that shines a different light on that valued and trusted and friend and we are able to see them more clearly than we ever have before. I realized that I always went the extra mile for my friend and that everything always had to be at her convenience. I just stopped calling and stopped being available and the relationship died a natural death. I remind myself when I think I miss my old friend that I don't REALLY miss her....just that "fantasy" friendship that was in my head. I have since had a new friend come into my life and over the course of about 4 or 5 years have developed a really nice, close and supportive friendship with her that feels easy and comfortable, with relatively equal give and take. Wish I hadn't wasted so many years on the last one...but, that must have been the way it was supposed to unfold. I am sorry if you are grieving the loss of a friend, for whatever reason. I want to remind you of those comforting words: "when God closes a door, He opens a window". Certainly true in my case.
ReplyDeleteI've done the de-friending. I did it because of bigotry and a general feeling that I was being brought down by the friendship instead of being built up. I didn't handle it with the grace our history deserved and I regret that. Hope whatever you are going though works out well
ReplyDeleteSuch timing.... I am anxious to hear other replies! I am dealing with betrayal from a friend and ugly untrue words about me. I am struggling to get over it!
ReplyDeleteI hope you are better at getting "over it". I have not just yet. I'm still reeling from a friendship that ended and I'm not sure why? I felt like I was back in high school again and I was wearing the wrong lipstick or something and I just stopped fitting in with the plan. I CANNOT for the life of me explain it. I've started to find other things to do with my void, but it's a nagging feeling. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI read this article yesterday! Yes, Ive been defriended and done it too. Sometimes it just needs to be done. Which is fine.
ReplyDeleteI need to defriend someone, but it's tough.
ReplyDeleteSocial networks are a world unto themselves, truly. I've been unfriended and have done it too. I don't take it seriously because there are so many reasons why it's done and most of them are not as big a deal as you might think. Of course, I've never experienced it with an IRL friend, only online friends, so I'm sure that would make a difference. However, a REAL friend would talk to you first about whatever the issue is. I hope whatever happened in your case resolves and doesn't hurt your feelings too much.
ReplyDeleteHi Everyone,
ReplyDeleteThis is a hot topic! It was being discussed on the Today show this morning. The NY Times article struck a chord for sure.
I am not going through any defriending issues, but I thank you for your sweet thoughts and good wishes.
I am, as ever, fascinated and interested in how all of you handle the social situations that have been thrust upon us because of the social media encroaching into our real lives. Even the term irl (in real life) is yet another cyber shorthand, that the social media created.
I so appreciate your comments.
xo xo
I was dumped one in my adult life...it stinks and hurts. My fault was agreeing with another on what this friend was doing. She didn't like it and there I went. Life does go on! I do know who my 'real' friends are and don't worry about those I don't know!
ReplyDeleteI know ONE thing ...you are my 'real' friend!