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| Alberto and I (June 2000) in front of our first apartment in New Orleans in the French Quarter - This was taken on the day we looked at the apartment |
One thing that helps is deeply feeling the circle of life. One couple that are clients have newborn twin girls, and there is such a sweet renewal in holding them. I have a few younger couples as clients, setting up households or doing renovations, and their excitement and enthusiasm remind me of the good life I had with Alberto. We had the same love and enthusiasm they now have. Working with them gives me energy and hope that revives me.
One of the couples, Emily and Andrew have a house tour on Apartment Therapy. Go take a look.
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| Emily and Andrew House Tour at Apartment Therapy - photo and story by Jacqueline Marque - |
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| Emily and Andrew House Tour at Apartment Therapy - photo and story by Jacqueline Marque - |
What helps you get through a hard time?
That picture of you and Alberto is so wonderful. You asked what helps you get through the hard time. Although my mother died last year, I have not experienced the kind of great loss you have with the passing on of your beloved. This is what I imagine I would do if my husband dies before me - I would try to still have a relationship with him, reserve special time to talk out loud to him when no one was there. I would continue living but I'd include this. But then again, maybe I am naive. I've thought of you often and continue to hope your memories of you life together will bring you comfort and solace. xo Michele
ReplyDeleteThat is a lovely photo of the two of you. Who took it? A stranger? A friend?
ReplyDeleteI lost my world when I was a child. My entire world. The only thing that saved me was books. They became my reality.
I really don't know how I would handle such a devastating loss but I know that my beloved animal friends are always here for me no matter what.
If you don't mind I would like to share two of my blog posts with you.
http://divinetheatre.blogspot.com/2013/10/home.html
http://divinetheatre.blogspot.com/2013/04/for-all-right-reasons.html
I don't know why God decided to bring Alberto home and left you on earth...but I do know He is not done with you, yet, Valerie. Your road with Alberto continues, though you cannot see him at your side. Alberto will help you walk in God's love and light. He will help you discover your purpose. His love for you is as bright as it ever was.
xo
Andie
What a great picture. I lost my mom more than a year ago, but I felt like I have not had the time to grieve her. We were very close, we were business partners for many years, until her retirement, so that meant daily interaction. I go along quietly doing my own thing, and then I suddenly feel her presence. I love that you are looking at pictures of the two of you, I think that must be comforting, you are so lucky to have loved so strongly, and to have been loved so much.
ReplyDeleteGratitude. Being grateful for even the smallest thing. This helps me. And of course, decorating always cheers me up! I come from a family of decorators, we've decorated our way through many sad events. I can remember my aunts (one from California and the other from Colorado), who had come 'home' for their beloved grandmother's funeral (my great grandmother) and completely re-decorating grandma's farmhouse (their mother's house), my mom was there and grandma,too- moving furniture, hanging pictures, drinking Pepsi,laughing until they cried...and talking all about their grandma making fudge and dancing in the kitchen with Trixie, her little dog, and then they cried for real. Then back to more decorating and laughing and crying - I was around 10 and I remember that time, that afternoon. Now, me and my sisters all tend to decorate during hard times.
ReplyDeleteModern living rooms have made a transition from a sterile feel where cleanliness and white couches were the priority, to rooms full of expression and character, a comfortable base to relax and enjoy your time.
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Living Room Renovations
Bathroom Renovations
Love that photo of you and Alberto! So grateful for you and all your help, and can only hope to be a support to you now.
ReplyDeleteHow would I get through what you're going through, Valorie? Other than pressing into my faith in God, leaning on friends and family, and keeping my dogs close, anything else I say now would be speculation. I can't imagine getting through it, though I know it is possible because others have.
ReplyDeleteGetting through other things that I actually have experience in takes me again to God, family and friends, and my dogs. Beyond that I've historically sought other comforts such as hot tea (which I drink lots of daily, but it is a particular comfort in sorrow because I usually can't eat), reading, movies and television shows that don't depress me, getting outside to work in the yard or take a walk, cleaning and organizing, or sometimes crocheting this certain afghan my grandma taught me how to make that uses only two stiches so it keeps my hands busy and burns nervous energy without requiring me to think (other than that I don't crochet or knit, and I currently have a partial afghan I started two years ago during a rough patch and likely won't pick up again until I have the need or a long road trip). When grieving I often lose my ability and desire to create, and I feel anxious if away from home for more than an hour or so, thus I cannot lose myself in the usual creative pleasures and pursuits.
Valorie, I'm glad to hear of any little light leaking in, any little thing that brings you a bit of relief, hope and pleasure. The photo of you and Alberto is a gem (one of many as I learned when I viewed the online slideshow from Alberto's service). I love your yellow shoes! -Carey
I love to stumble upon here and read a beautiful story! I love the yellow living room which catches the attention of everyone and the wall art most especially. Happy to be here! Beautiful!
ReplyDeleteSebastian Chuter
Beautiful couple; beautiful city. Your loss is so profound - what can someone say that is not a cliche. You must remember that when you grieve (and grief is a very private thing) you are still not alone.
ReplyDeletethanks for this
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